So I have been looking forward to October 1, to when I can use the food stamps that I thought I had because I had a letter that had awarded me last month 17 dollars worth.  Whoopee.  But, I was facing October with 71.  Maybe that was a typo.  The first thing was someone called me at 7:30 in the morning.  Then I received a letter 2 days after it was dated telling me I needed to have an interview that I thought that I had already had.  So today I catch the bus and go to the grocery store to get some stuff that I was running out of and some food actually that I could eat.  It was only about 45 dollars worth.  Not much to live on…  I go to pay for it with the food stamp credit card and it says insufficient funds.  I was frustrated.  I decided to go home. The bus home was not until almost an hour.  So rather than wait with the gentleman who was waiting…I walked.  Poor me.  I came home, took off my shirt, lay down and took a nap.  I am tired, feeling a little down.

I called my sponsor in AA.  He cheers me up by saying, “Poor Baby” and Poor Billy,” knowing that all of this I brought on myself had I found a job earlier and not just stayed at home when I had unemployment.   And here I  am hungry, running out of everything…poor me…poor pitiful me….  So the next thing you will tell me is if I just follow your plan you will help me make all sorts of money.  I say get stuffed.  I am tired of everybody trying to use me for their own schemes, plans.  Show me your money and then I will believe you.  Bring me a bag of groceries and maybe I will listen to you.

1 Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me;
fight against those who fight against me.
2 Take up shield and buckler;
arise and come to my aid.
3 Brandish spear and javelin
against those who pursue me.
Say to my soul,
"I am your salvation."
4 May those who seek my life
be disgraced and put to shame;
may those who plot my ruin
be turned back in dismay.
5 May they be like chaff before the wind,
with the angel of the LORD driving them away;
6 may their path be dark and slippery,
with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.
7 Since they hid their net for me without cause
and without cause dug a pit for me,
8 may ruin overtake them by surprise--
may the net they hid entangle them,
may they fall into the pit, to their ruin.
9 Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD
and delight in his salvation.
10 My whole being will exclaim,
"Who is like you, O LORD?
You rescue the poor from those too strong for them,
the poor and needy from those who rob them."
11 Ruthless witnesses come forward;
they question me on things I know nothing about.
12 They repay me evil for good
and leave my soul forlorn.
13 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth
and humbled myself with fasting.
When my prayers returned to me unanswered,
14 I went about mourning
as though for my friend or brother.
I bowed my head in grief
as though weeping for my mother.
15 But when I stumbled, they gathered in glee;
attackers gathered against me when I was unaware.
They slandered me without ceasing.
16 Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked ;
they gnashed their teeth at me.
17 O Lord, how long will you look on?
Rescue my life from their ravages,
my precious life from these lions.
18 I will give you thanks in the great assembly;
among throngs of people I will praise you.
19 Let not those gloat over me
who are my enemies without cause;
let not those who hate me without reason
maliciously wink the eye.
20 They do not speak peaceably,
but devise false accusations
against those who live quietly in the land.
21 They gape at me and say, "Aha! Aha!
With our own eyes we have seen it."
22 O LORD, you have seen this; be not silent.
Do not be far from me, O Lord.
23 Awake, and rise to my defense!
Contend for me, my God and Lord.
24 Vindicate me in your righteousness, O LORD my God;
do not let them gloat over me.
25 Do not let them think, "Aha, just what we wanted!"
or say, "We have swallowed him up."
26 May all who gloat over my distress
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who exalt themselves over me
be clothed with shame and disgrace.
27 May those who delight in my vindication
shout for joy and gladness;
may they always say, "The LORD be exalted,
who delights in the well-being of his servant."
28 My tongue will speak of your righteousness
and of your praises all day long.

Before I continue, I would explain that I try not to prejudiced in any fashion.  When I was working on my Bachelors in Communication, I had an opportunity to work and live with Mideastern Muslim young men.  For my class  in Intercultural Communication, I even interviewed a young man from Egypt. 

Why would I include the following?  When I went to high school there were many Jewish kids that I used to go to the Jewish Community Center for dances,etc.  I met one young man as a ham radio operator and shared a Sabbath dinner with him and his family.  But, even prior to that when my father had been transferred to Germany in 1949, I had seen the bombed out churches, men looking for food in garbage cans and had learned about the persecution of the Jewish people. 

But, it was on the ship coming back home from Germany to States where I had met a man with a beard.  I had told him that I liked his beard.  But when I asked what the numbers tattooed on him were for, he said tell them what you saw.  The same group of people danced in a circle when the came into New York, Ellis Island and saw the Statue of Liberty.  I later found out that they were Jewish.

My third marriage was to an Israeli woman was was beautiful and very educated.  Her parents were survivors of concentration camps.  My affinity for Israel and the Jewish people remains in spite of the breakup of our marriage.  This is why I include the following:

 
Even those who aren't  particularly sympathetic to Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu, could get a  good measure of satisfaction from this interview  with British Television during  the retaliation against Hamas' shelling of  Israel.

The interviewer asked him: "How come so many  more Palestinians have been killed in this conflict than Israelis?" (A  nasty question if there ever was one!)

Netanyahu: "Are you sure that you want to  start asking in that direction?"

Interviewer: (Falling into the trap) Why  not?

Netanyahu: "Because in World War II more  Germans were killed than British and Americans combined, but there is no  doubt in anyone's mind that the war was caused by Germany's aggression. And in  response to the German blitz on London,  the British wiped out the entire city of Dresden, burning to death more German civilians  than the number of people killed in Hiroshima. Moreover, I could remind you  that in 1944, when the R.A.F. tried to bomb the Gestapo Headquarters in Copenhagen, some of the bombs missed  their target and fell on a Danish children's hospital, killing 83 little  children. Perhaps you have another  question?"

Apparently, Benjamin Netanyahu gave another  interview and was asked about Israel's occupation of Arab  lands. His response was, "It's our land". The reporter (CNN or the like)  was stunned - read below "It's our land..." It's important information  since we don't get fair and accurate reporting from the media and facts  tend to get lost in the jumble of daily events.

"Crash Course on the Arab-Israeli  Conflict."
 

Here  are overlooked facts in the current & past Middle East situation. These were compiled by a  Christian university professor:

BRIEF FACTS ON THE ISRAELI CONFLICT TODAY...  (It takes just 1.5 minutes to read!)
It makes sense and it's not slanted. Jew and  non-Jew -- it doesn't matter.

1. Nationhood and Jerusalem: Israel became a nation in  1312 BC, two thousand (2000) years before the rise of  Islam.

2. Arab refugees in Israel began identifying  themselves as part of a Palestinian people in 1967, two decades after  the establishment of the modern State of Israel.

3. Since the Jewish conquest in 1272 BC, the  Jews have had dominion over the land for one thousand (1000) years with  a continuous presence in the land for the past 3,300  years.

4. The only Arab dominion since the conquest  in 635 lasted no more than 22 years.

5. For over 3,300 years, Jerusalem has been  the Jewish capital.  Jerusalem has never been the capital of  any Arab or Muslim entity. Even when the Jordanians occupied Jerusalem, they  never sought to make it their capital, and Arab  leaders
did not come to  visit.

6. Jerusalem is mentioned over 700 times in  Tanach, the Jewish Holy Scriptures.  Jerusalem is not mentioned once in the  Koran.

7. King David founded the city of Jerusalem.  Mohammed never came to Jerusalem.

8. Jews pray facing Jerusalem.   Muslims pray with their backs toward Jerusalem.

9. Arab and Jewish Refugees: in 1948 the Arab  refugees were encouraged to leave Israel by Arab leaders promising to purge  the land  of Jews.   Sixty-eight percent left (many in fear of retaliation by their own  brethren, the Arabs), without ever seeing an Israeli soldier. The ones  who stayed were afforded the same peace, civility, and citizenship  rights as everyone else.

10. The Jewish refugees were forced to flee  from Arab lands due to Arab brutality, persecution and  pogroms.

11.  The number of Arab refugees who left Israel  in 1948 is estimated to be around 630,000. The number of Jewish refugees  from Arab lands is estimated to be about 800,000.

12. Arab refugees were INTENTIONALLY not  absorbed or integrated into the Arab lands to which they fled, despite  the vast Arab territory. Out of the 100,000,000 refugees since World War  II, theirs is the only refugee group in the world that has never been  absorbed or integrated into their own people's lands. Jewish refugees  were completely absorbed into Israel, a country no larger than the  state of New  Jersey.

13. The Arab-Israeli Conflict: the Arabs are  represented by twenty two separate nations, not including the Palestinians. There is only one Jewish nation. The Arab nations initiated all five  wars and lost.  Israel defended itself each  time and won.

14. The PLO's Charter still calls for the  destruction of the State of Israel. Israel has given the  Palestinians most of the West Bank land, autonomy under the Palestinian Authority, and  has supplied them.

15. Under Jordanian rule, Jewish holy sites  were desecrated and the Jews were denied access to places of worship.  Under Israeli rule, all Muslim and Christian sites have been preserved  and made accessible to people of all  faiths.

16. The UN Record on Israel and the Arabs: of the 175 Security  Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against  Israel.

17. Of the 690 General Assembly resolutions  voted on before 1990, 429 were directed against Israel.

18. The UN was silent while 58 Jerusalem synagogues  were destroyed by the Jordanians.

19. The UN was silent while the Jordanians  systematically desecrated the ancient Jewish cemetery on the Mount of Olives.

20. The UN was silent while the Jordanians  enforced an apartheid-like a policy of preventing Jews from visiting the  Temple  Mount and the  Western Wall.
These are incredible  times. We have to ask what our role should be.  What will we tell  our grandchildren about what we did when there was a turning point  in Jewish destiny, an  opportunity to make a difference?

I just turned 65. Prior to that my unemployment ran out and I only got $22.  I took my Social Security money and decided to pay bills and buy a little food with it.  Previously I had signed up for a payday loan with my bank with required that I sign an automatic repay on it.  So I went through and paid all of my bills and the ones that I had had my bank pay for me were paid.   So I paid my power bill with Florida Power.

I then bought a little food and a tank of gas.  I kept checking my accounts and watching all of the payments clear except the FPL.  One day I went into my Money and found out that there was a $27 charge on my checking account for a returned and that my bank had paid their payday loan.  I had gone to the bank in person to tell them that I had found out that I run out funds and that I was unable to pay them.  Aren’t computers wonderful.  Their computer had decided that my payment to FPL previously did not count but that my decision for an automatic repay did.  I was on the phone and internet with both Suncoast Coast Federal Credit Union and FPL.  I went in person several times to my bank.  I asked my bank to help me consolidate payments.  They basically told me to take a hike.

So I have 4 days as of today to find a way to pay my power bill or they will cut off my power.  To top that off, my 88 Jeep Cherokee is finally breaking down and leaking steering fluid like crazy, but I cannot afford to get any more or have it repaired.  I cannot even afford to get a bus pass.  I just got $17 worth of food stamps for this month.  I am now trying to figure out what I can live without…is it TV, or the internet?  I need my phone.  I know I like watching wrestling and other things but I can save money by giving it up.

All of the times that I tried to save money for my future, each time I did something would come up and I was unable to keep in savings and I would have to live off that. So here I am 65 dependent of Social Security only and will start to pound the pavements like I did back 11 years ago.  But, the economy has changed, I have aged.

But, perhaps there will be someone out there that needs someone with my talents.  I should have been pounding the pavements before now; but, I am one of these realists who has to be slapped in the face before I get going.

Hopefully I will be able to find something so I can pay off bills and not leave such a legacy to my two sons.

I receive all sorts of articles from GOP and agree with most of them.  But when Obama is blamed for everything, I start to get upset and want to speak out.

I am a Veteran.  I have spent time in and out of Veterans hospitals, from Sturgis, SD, Danville, IL, and Miami, FL.  The last time I was in Miami, FL I was asked to make preparation should I die and sign the appropriate documents.  That was 1997.  I do not believe that Obama was President at that time.  It  was 12 years ago.  That would have been a different Democratic President. 

But,  I really would need to research and find out when the euthanasia was put into affect at with the VA.  So, before someone starts to blame Obama and try to collect money from me to fight it,  I will have to do that!  In the meantime, I will be busy playing games on Facebook.

As a certain group of people decided that the population of this country and the rest of Europe could not support extended birthrates, families of intelligence and means were encouraged to only have 2 children, abortion was supported, if not even encouraged.  Now we have a birthrate of less than 2 and yet our population is still increasing with each year.

The problem is that those who were the ones who encouraged a lower birthrate will be the ones who in the end will suffer.  Before the mid century is out this country will be a majority Muslim.  Come quickly, O Lord.  Contend O Lord with those who contend against me.  I have not much more to offer except my pen.  As I sit here writing to the sounds of smooth Jazz.  I am aged by 40 years and cannot fight as I used to in the jungles or the streets.  Sometimes there is fear that sneaks around me and that is why I keep going to meetings of friends of Bill W.   They keep me sane.

I am amazed at all this computerized stuff.  I grew up listening to shortwave radio and then got interested in ham radio.  As a result I became a switchboard operator in the Navy, teletype operator.  Everything about communications that had to do with business fascinated me.  When I was a teletype operator, it was in Washington, DC just before Nixon was elected and I worked right around the corned from the White House.  Various people called up and placed their orders to buy or sell stock and the brokers would give their orders to me to send to the floor of the various exchanges.

Meanwhile, in the background my coworkers were buying and selling stock of First Virginia Bank, etc in the name of Alex Brown & Son’s.  I moved back to New Orleans and went to work with Western Union and was transferred to Illinois.  The positions involved keeping the connections between various cities continuing.  This has probably been replaced by a computer. 

I later wound up in radio and television in my college degree and was on the air with a DJ position and a student  radio engineer position.  I volunteered to assist at Cablevision at various productions, as camera man, and audio engineer, etc.  

I finished up my career working for Radio Shack after I had sold cellular phones for another carrier previously.  I had also had experience with computers in various jobs I had held.  When I worked for Radio Shack, the training  and certifications that I received helped me became understanding more and more all things electronic, but I am still amazed.

Here I am writing at home writing into one blog that will post to my website and it will be exported to my website on Facebook.  Fantastic.   Well, here goes….

As I just got through paying bills and balancing my checkbook I know that there are still other bills to be paid.  I stopped to cook the chicken in the fridge.  I have been battling a flu and eating only  chicken soup  for lunch and frozen Chinese food. I finally got some of appetite back.

I got my mail out of the mail box and started to read some of the "junk" mail.  Always they want me to donate a minimum of $25 or $35.  Sometimes I put it aside when I think I may actually do so.  But what happens is since I am on Social Security and Unemployment my finances begin to run out rather quickly and I am unable to donate to anyone.

I begin to wonder if you have to be poor to be a Democrat.  I believe in the things that those whose want me to donate, but since I am barely able to make it from one month to the next and not sure if I will be able to even have the Internet the next month or not, I really frustrated.

I sometimes think that I should just give up let those who are in control really do not know what they are doing.  We took are reserve troops and rebuild an country in Iraq. 

When the Democratic President who would not stand up to anybody and been cutting back military left office, the budget was balanced.  When the Republican President who stood up to everybody, the budget was in shambles. 

Yet, all financial programs that were put into motion in the when the Democratic President was in office were done by the same team that is in office now.  And we are blaming the man who lead the nation while programs were in motion.

No one stops to look at the fact that the same people were there setting up the situation to start in motion.  The Democrats went about on the Internet and gained the younger vote but they did not know what they were voting for.  Everybody wanted change.

But, it was the same political group talking about change that had set up the financial mess that we are now in.  Now we have all these stimulus packages beginning.  Each State is grabbing as much as they possibly can. 

What will happen is taxes will be raised supposed on those who on the rich.  And there will be redistribution of wealth.  That sounds more and more like Socialism and Marxism.

These are just of few of my view while WWE Smackdown is ranting in the background.

Quote

Talking about YouTube - Would YOU put THIS in YOUR living room?
  

The Department of Homeland Security in Action by Michael Yon
04 January 2009

A Thai friend with whom I have traveled in Europe and Asia took time off from her job to meet me in Florida over the holidays.  This was a good time for me, as it was between reporting stints in the war. My friend, Aew, had volunteered to work with me in Afghanistan or Iraq, but I declined because many people around me get shot or blown up.  So we were looking forward to spending some vacation time together.  She comes from a good family; and one that is wealthier than most American families.  She didn’t come here for a job.  Well-educated, she has a master's degree and works as a bank officer in Chiang Mai, Thailand.  Aew was excited about the prospect of visiting America for the first time, though she had traveled to many other countries and had the passport stamps to prove it.  She had no problem getting a U.S. visa, and she was paying her own way to fly.

Problems began when she entered the airport in Bangkok.  Aew had a one-way ticket to America, because we would travel back in the direction of the war before she would go home, but we did not know our exact itinerary, so she hadn't bought a round-trip ticket back to Thailand.  Before boarding the flight from Thailand to America, Northwest Airlines required Aew to buy a return ticket for 53,905 Thai bhat, or about $1,200 for a return ticket, else they would not let her board the flight.  Aew paid by her credit card and pushed on.  Understandably, it raises suspicions when a foreign national doesn't have a round-trip ticket in an age of massive illegal immigration -- even if that person is an educated professional with a home and career, and even though Aew has a ten-year visa to the United States.  Nevertheless, Aew paid approximately $1,200 for the return ticket, and so now had a return ticket.

 
That is how it began.  She boarded the jet, eventually landed in Japan and then Minneapolis, before the final leg to Orlando.  While thousands of people have canceled trips to Orlando due to the failing economy, Aew was coming with cash to spend in Florida.  We would go to Disney, Kennedy Space Center and many other places; she'd be seeing the sights while I was meeting with military and other people in preparation for my upcoming return to Afghanistan for the long year ahead.

 
I first met Aew in Indonesia during a break from the Iraq war.  I had gone to visit the site of the murder of my friend Beata Pawlak, who, along with about two hundred other people, was killed in a terrorist attack on the island of Bali.
After meeting in Indonesia, Aew and I stayed in touch.  We traveled at different times to Singapore, Great Britain, Thailand and Nepal.  Yet when Aew landed in Minneapolis, she was hustled away by an immigration officer.  After approximately 24 hours of exhausting travel, Aew was detained for about 90 minutes without cause, and as a result, she missed her connecting flight to Orlando.  She was brought into a small room where she saw a camera peering down.  The officer conducting the shakedown wore a name tag: "Knapp."  Five times she had traveled to China with zero problems, but Knapp grilled Aew with a long series of questions, rifling through her wallet, handling her credit cards and reading them carefully, questioning her piece by piece.  Her passport, thick with extra pages, showed stamps from countries around the world.  It contained the valid U.S. visa, and stamps and visas from countries she had traveled to, such as Great Britain, Japan, China, Nepal, Singapore, Indonesia, Myanmar, South Korea, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Brunei, New Zealand and Cambodia.  She had traveled to some of these countries on multiple occasions, always paying her own way.  She never had problems.  Not even in China.  We had toured Parliament together in London, on a private expedition led by Member of Parliament Adam Holloway.  Aew was very interested to see the Royal Family, and was beside herself when I met Lady Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, who at that time read this website.  The British, including military officers, had treated her very well and she left with positive memories of Great Britian.

But that was Great Britain.  The American shakedown was just starting.  Her sister, Puk, was sending me SMS messages from Thailand, worried that Aew seemed to have disappeared.  I had bought Puk's daughters, North and Nurse, who are 8 and 9, a "talking globe" so they could track the travels of their Aunt Aew.  The last time I saw North and Nurse, we had taken them to the Chiang Mai zoo, and also to an elephant camp where the elephants paint.  Puk's husband, Bey, is a high-ranking Thai police officer who, as part of his duties, helps organize security for the Thai Royal Family. 

While the U.S. Immigration officer named Knapp rifled through all her belongings, Aew sat quietly.  She was afraid of this man, who eventually pushed a keyboard to Aew and coerced her into giving up the password to her e-mail address.  Officer Knapp read through Aew's e-mails that were addressed to me, and mine to her.  Aew would tell me later that she sat quietly, but “Inside I was crying.”  She had been so excited to finally visit America.  America, the only country ever to coerce her at the border.  This is against everything I know about winning and losing the subtle wars.   This is against everything I love about the United States.  We are not supposed to behave like this.  Aew would tell me later that she thought she would be arrested if she did not give the password.
The Government of the United States was reading the private e-mails of a U.S. citizen (me).  The Department of “Homeland Security” was at work, intimidating visitors with legitimate visas.  They had at least 24 hours to check her out before she landed in the United States.  What kind of security is this?  The Department of Homeland Security was at this moment more like the Department of Intimidation.

Officer Knapp called my phone as I was driving to the Orlando airport.  I was going to be there two hours early to make sure I would be on time, so that she had a warm welcome to my country.  But instead, Knapp was busy detaining Aew in Minneapolis and was on my cell phone asking all types of personal questions that he had no business asking.  Sensing that Aew was in trouble, I answered his questions.  Mr. Knapp was a rude smart aleck.  The call is likely recorded and that recording would bear out my claims.  This officer of the United States government, a grown man, had coerced personal information from a Thai woman who weighs 90 pounds.  I asked Aew later why she gave him the e-mail password, and she answered simply, "I was afraid," and “I thought I would be arrested.”
What could I say to alleviate any of this?  Could I say, "This is the U.S., nothing to be afraid of."?  The world already sees us as senseless bullies.  Aew might have been detained indefinitely; even I was concerned that the Department of Homeland Security might detain Aew for no reason.  Essentially, she had no rights.  They had already coerced her e-mail password out of her head through intimidation.

This does not make me feel safe: Our Homeland Security was focusing on a 40-year-old Thai bank officer while there are real bad guys out there. Thailand and the United States have had good relations for 175 years, and Thailand is one of the few countries in the world that is proud to say they are friends of the United States.  There are no threats to Americans from Thai people -- who, among other relevant things, are mostly not Muslims.  The King of Thailand was born in Massachusetts and graduated from Harvard.  I have never seen the King with a gun; only a camera.  His 2009 New Year’s speech was also a call for peace.  The King and his family helped bring widespread education to Thailand, which created a special problem.  Today there are large numbers of highly educated, successful women looking for highly educated men.  I remember General (ret.) McCaffrey, our former drug Czar, telling me a couple of years ago that the King of Thailand was incredibly important in wiping out opium poppies in Thailand.  The King of Thailand is highly respected by the government of the United States.  He is a very good man.

 
During World War II, when the Japanese encouraged the Thai people to fight us, the Thai government actually declared war on the United States and Great Britain.  But the Thai Ambassador in Washington refused to deliver the declaration of war.  The upshot was that the United States refused to declare war on Thailand, and the Thai people formed a resistance against the Japanese.
Thai people refused to fight Americans.  Instead, they attacked the Japanese.  Has our government had problems recently with 90-pound, 40-year-old Thai women?  Do they blow things up?  Aew doesn’t even know how to light a match.  She doesn’t smoke or drink, and is more upright than your average southern Baptist.  She can’t even curse and gets upset if she hears me say a bad word about someone.  “Michael!” she says, “Don’t say that!” 

When I discovered that she had missed her flight, after about 24 hours of travel thus far, I called immigration at Minneapolis and asked to speak with Officer Knapp.  Knapp got on the phone, but this time it was me questioning him.  Knapp told me it was legal to read e-mails.  I asked for his first name, but he was afraid to give his first name, which was rather strange for someone working within the confines of an airport where everyone has been searched for weapons.  Where I work, in a war zone, soldiers give their first and last names and face Taliban and al Qaeda heads up, man to man.  I write about al Qaeda, Taliban and other terrorist groups who kill thousands of people.  My name is Michael Yon.  My first name is Michael.  Mr. Knapp hides behind a badge bullying a woman whose only activities are Yoga, reading, travel, and telling me what is healthy and unhealthy to eat.  Knapp is a face of Homeland Security.  How many other officers at Homeland Security bully 90-pound women, but are afraid to give their own names? 

Knowing that Homeland Security officers are creating animosity and anxiety at our borders does not make me feel safer.  How many truly bad guys slip by while U.S. officers stand in small rooms and pick on little women?

I have just returned from Afghanistan and Iraq on a trip with U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, and I can assure you that we can do better.  We do not have to violate human rights and insult our closest allies to maintain our security. 

Meanwhile, Aew had missed two flights; standby seats were full on the second flight, and I was considering flying from Florida to Minneapolis to get her myself.  I did not want Aew to have to sleep in the airport overnight.

I had intended to show Aew a bit of my country.  But it's taking a little while for her to get over her discomfort at being in America.  She was treated better in China.  So was I.

I put off doing laundry yesterday after my meeting which I normally do on a Friday and was going to do it on Saturday.  But I was committed to go to the meeting by my sponsor.  So I came home and decided to wake up and work on the Jeep and never did fix the turn signals.  I wound up taking a late nap after dinner, surfing TV and the Web back and forth.

I planned to wash all of my laundry.  I live only 3 short blocks away from the laundromat, which I normally drive,  keeping all of my laundry supplies in my Jeep.  Well, I went out to my Jeep and there was a ominous, "Click!" as I tried to start it.  It looks like the lights light up, but it will not start.  It did yesterday.  I am out of orange juice, vitamin C and planned to go to the bank and borrow enough money until payday so I can get vitamins and orange juice.

I wound up walking to the laundry mat.  I really need the exercise, but not like this.  After my laundry I will call AAA.  And I was planning to call my dentist, but unless I can get my Jeep going, that will have to be postponed as will everything else in my life.  It seems like every time I mention out loud being thankful about my Jeep running it breaks down.  So, I am learning to keep quiet about my being thankful out loud.

I am waiting now for the laundry to get done and my cell phone alarm to go off so I can walk back up there.  I need to get a 3 wheel bike and then I can take my laundry down there.  Better yet,  I should fix the machines here....

Learning not to procrastinate....and maybe I will have more "Freedom!" LOL

I spent the movie watching the Movie Braveheart about William Wallace.  I think tomorrow I will play the Age of Empires game about William Wallace or at least be the Celts in the game.  At the end of the game I found myself in tears after he had died and Robert Bruce had taken over and become King.  My background is Scot-Irish.  It was the English that finally took a group of the Scots and relocated them to Ireland in an attempt of political control.  The Scots-Irish have been battling the British ever since.  We relocate to the Americas  and people like Andrew Jackson on the forefront. 

Much of the past records were burned in the War of 1812 by the British.  My great great grandfather had come over here in 1808 but there does not seem be any record of him.  My own father was in the US Army and spent time fighting for the United States of America.

I wound up in the US Navy and am a Viet Nam veteran.  So in the movie when the character, William Wallace, cried out, "Freedom," that is what stirred up the emotion inside me.  I have always been ready to fight and die for freedom.  Now I see my country taking away the freedom, bit by bit, under the guise of protecting the the little man, I want to cry out as William Wallace did in the movie, "Freedom."  I feel like that my freedom is being taking away.

I see those who supposed represent me not caring about the religious freedoms that this country was based upon. 

I want to cry out, "Freedom."

To friends of Bill W., hang in there at this time of year.  I probably will go to a meeting tomorrow, then head to a dinner somewhere.  My kids are in Illinois, one sister in New York, a brother in New Orleans, and a sister in Colorado after Katrina.  So here I am in Florida after my life has gone from Georgia to Pennsylvania to Georgia to Germany, 3 different places, back to Georgia, then to New Orleans, La.  I lived in Washington, DC for a short time right around the corner when Richard Nixon was President and men looking for food on the corner right up the street.  I would go to work after dodging them and then help Eric Severide buy 100 shares of various different stock.  That was before the days of computers and I was the teletype operator to the stock floor.  I went back to New Orleans with my young wife and then had a chance to move to Danville, Illinois with Western Union.  I wound up quitting the job and moved to Champaign-Urbana, Illinois and stayed there for 25 years after someone had told me I should move back where I came from.

It took me all the way until I was after 60 years old that I realized that I was responsible for myself.  I guess that is why I did not last through 4 marriages.  Normally Christmas time is bad time of year for me, now I out of work and not stressed out by all the people coming and going with all their garbage.  I am having a relaxed time and not really worried what is going on with the country's economy that I can't do anything about.  I have learned how to let go of things that I cannot control.  Now I just like battle the traffic with my 5 speed, 6 cylinder 310,000 mile Jeep. 

So as I sit down to eat my Polish sausage and rice dinner,  Merry Christmas to all.

I just finished watching a Las Vegas episode in which Danny went off as a Marine and came back from combat. He was unable to sleep or wouldn't sleep when he had come back.  It turned out that all of his unit had been killed and there was no one to watch his back.  When he asked his mentor if he had had to do what he did, then he fell asleep when he heard yes.

Sometimes,   I feel like I really don't have anyone to watch my back.  And I don't sleep well.

It started out with wanting to get caught up reading my unread e-mails that had been stacked up like crazy.  Recently, I have had teeth pulled and new dental work done, so all I could do is make soup, watch TV and sleep.  Plus, it has been cold here in Florida and my air condition is now a heater blowing hot air over my head.  I finally read one of my e-mails “Black Five” who referred me to the E-Harmony Shakedown by Michelle Malkin.  Since I put her, here on this blog I was immediately on alert and had to read it.

Not only that I had applied to  e-Harmony before.  When I applied to e-Harmony for dating, I was graciously turned away.  That’s probably because I have been married 4 times.  Since they are a Christian organization, I had respect for that.  My first marriage had ended in an annulment after 13 years, LOL.  Amazing what can be done with money and power.  The second one was the parent of my two sons.  More later.

The third one started to divorce me, and I had to finish it.  She wound up dying in a fire in Maryland.  I found out about it from one of my sons, ironically as he had become friends with her first ex-husband.   The fourth one became friends with my second son but, we wound up going through a divorce.

So, when I heard that a gay organization had filed a lawsuit against them, I was really angry, because I personally have had gay friends in my life time but I don’t see any point in forcing anything on anyone.  When people start to force things one anyone that’s when my Scots-Irish dander gets really riled up.

So I wanted to write Michele Malkin a letter.  I thought I would go to my Blog site and find the milblogs and look her up and write to her and tell here what I thought and thanks for the article.  When I got to the blog site, I could not find the milblogs…It took all morning to revamp my blog site and here I am writing another blog and getting ready to eat some lunch before I go visit a buddy of mine. 

Next we will have the Gestapo coming to tell us we need to listen to whatever needs to be said….   Had enough.

When I did my Fourth and Fifth Step of AA, I stopped obsessing on my life.  Up until that point,  I had spent the time obsessing on my life and walking backwards in life.

Now, I am able to life one day at a time in the present.  Once in a while I get upset about certain things.  Like tonight there was a show on NCIS about a Marine being drugged with steroids.  I was upset, because I remember it was not until I stopped drinking that I started having memories of combat that are not on my records.  It is that part of my life that I can get really upset if I spent any time on it.

Right when I am having all sorts of money problems I don’t pay attention and download a Program from Microsoft which tells me that my software may be counterfeit.  I just have my buddy build the computer and don’t know how he does it.

I really was not paying that close of attention.  I can’t keep track of all the piracy on the internet.  I just need a working computer to look for jobs.  Meanwhile Bill Gates and company is making millions.

As I spend the day after a presidential election of a black man as President of the United States, I am proud of my country that it has grown to the extent that it has.  I can remember as a child accidently going to get a drink from a water fountain marked, “Colored” and not realizing that it was and drinking out of it and nothing happening to me.

My father was in the United States Army and we were Southern born.  Our roots were from Southwest Georgia.  My first interracial interactions were with black baby sitters, when I was about 4 going on 5.  I would witness them stealing from savings my mother had in the house. Later I was ritually abused in a voodoo ritual.  Chicken and goat blood were spread over as drums were beating.  I remember them dancing wilding and to a frenzy and I was frightened. 

My father was transferred to Germany to an all Black Army post as the US Army began its integration of the Army.  My father was in Military Police and the Deputy Police.

When I went to Dependent’s School, there a lot of classmates that were black when I was in kindergarten, but when I came home I played with little German boys.

We were transferred to Bremerhaven.  I mostly played with little German boys.  I don’t remember having blacks.  As we returned back to Georgia, after I had lived in South Germany for a year, my mother hired a black maid, Mattie Lou who was a like a second mother to me.  I remember her singing spiritual songs as she pressed our clothes and did the laundry.  She was there for me when I had a skinned knee or elbow, etc. and would talk to me and encourage me.

As I went to the stores with my mother, I had a hard time figuring out why there was a different entrance marked “Colored.”  That was the time I drank out of the water fountain.  I can remember talking to others a school how if the schools were inter-grated we wanted to go to Lucy Laney because we thought it was a better school.

We saw black soldiers marching in the  same parades that my father was in, but in general most of our life was spent going to the stores, eating in restaurants all at places that other white people where.

My father was transferred to New Orleans.  When I got there, I marched in a Mardi Gras parade.  In the parade there were black men carrying kerosene lamps and flares called flambeaus.  I marched as a Boy Scout carrying the United States Flag in Mardi Gras parades and got to know somewhat the black men flambeau carriers.

After we had been in New Orleans for a while, I had learned to take the bus and street car.  I found out that there was separation of races with a marker that got moved for “Colored.”  One day I sat down at a seat just behind the sign and received all sorts of looks by everybody.  I just did not want to stand all the way.

One Wednesday night, my sister and I went down to a coffee house in the French Quarter.  There were both black and white, male and female there and Chinese man, Doctor of Sociology.  There was a black man, Babe Stovall, playing blues.

All of sudden a black man stood up and an said, “Nobody move, this is a raid,” “Women on this side, Men on this side.” Some else said, “Were did you get the badge, Joe?”  I wound up at the police station and then everybody was separated, white men into one cell, black men into another.  Then white women were put into another cell and black women were put into another cell.  The Chinese man was decided to be put with the  white men.

I called my father to bail me out.

There was a big TV hullabaloo and it turned out that 73 were arrested as there was a party going on upstairs from the coffee house.

I began to party and associate more into the French Quarter and there were more black men and women throughout.

Later, I wound up going back to live with my mother and my sister went to the French Quarter and saw a friend marching in the Selma, Alabama association parade.  Three weeks later my mothers house and car was bombed by the KKK.  By that time I was in the Navy at Bellechase, La.

When I was in the Navy, there were black men in the Navy and were worked together, lived in the same barracked, used the same open showers, toilets, and ate together at the mess hall, but for we were off duty, we spent time with white buddies for the most part.

It was not until I wound up in Southeast Asia that memories of a black man dying in my arms come in. 

I came back home and was out the Navy in New Orleans.  I got married and went to Washington, DC.  I had a job with a stock broker right around the corner from the White House and lived about 8 blocks up street in an apartment on 15th Street NW. 14th Street NW had been burned in riots just a block away.  And as I went to work I found myself with black men asking me for food.  It was a contrast from where I worked and the White House and Capitol.

We returned to New Orleans and I wound up getting a job in Illinois and finally moving to Champaign, IL.  It was not until I lived in various apartments that I found myself living in the same places as black people.  I worked in industry and some positions were filled by black men.  Finally there was a temporary position that was filled by both black and white.  It was interesting that the blacks seemed to want to drag the job out and whites wanted to do the best they could.

I used public transportation as did the students which were mostly white from Chicago.  There were some black who rode the bus, but there was a certain area and it was a certain bus.  Ironically, Illinois was more segregated than the South.  So I did not take the bus to the “North end.”

As I worked in industry, I began to see how various people worked up North. I decided I needed to go back to school. 

I wound going back to school in Springfield at University of Illinois.  After I graduated, I took a job as Radio Engineer  for KILI Radio which is located in Porcupine, SD.  It is owned by the  Oglala Lakota Sioux.  Not too far away from the station is Wounded Knee, SD.  I found myself being the only white man at an all Native American Radio Station and at a meeting having them say, “If we can’t find a brother, then we will have to hire a white man.

It was the Lakota who got me to go to AA after I spent time out with a Viet Nam Veteran drinking and left my family by themselves.  It turned out that the Radio Station had a war on alcoholism.

Later, when I going through marital problems and being arrested on the Reservation and placed into the local jail, I was able to see the difference between the jail on the reservation and the jail in the county as I was transferred to Hot Springs, SD., some 80 miles away.  I was impressed that the Lakota Indians drove 80 miles and bailed me out without me even calling them. (Chastising me for not trying to figure out how to do so myself.)  The difference of jails was the poverty.  It was obvious that there was more money at the white man’s jail.

There was a time when I had pulled into a gas station and the attendant said they had just run out of gas.  I had a Native American riding with me.  I noticed that gas station then filled someone up as I left. 

I struggled with being the object of prejudice because of my job.

I went back to Champaign, IL and then after a divorce decided to relocate to Florida.

I have seen that mostly Blacks take the bus and train in traveling and Whites, fly. While traveling, pretty much everybody is the same, however, black people tend to be louder in public. 

I relocated to Florida and became a patient in Miami VA Hospital.  The staff was made of Haitian Black and Cuban.  When I was discharged, I became a client of Faith Farm, a Christian recovery program.  There were many black men there.  But, drugs and alcohol knows no racial barriers.  And the men who were serious about recovery did. 

I had gone through another in house program which helped me, remember some of the Viet Nam memories.

There are also good memories of black men and white men and me singing our hearts at Faith Farm Church Services.  I became the Canteen manager.  Each man had to come to me to get his chit for $$ when he first came in.  So I basically met the men after they had first come in.  We were working for $1 a day, room and board and a recovery program and church.  I saw black men come beat down and it was like I was their best friend because I had just given them $3 to get a haircut.  Before it was over after they had networked with another black man, he and his buddy would try to con me for $$$ at the Canteen window.

The black men would take the position of clothing disbursal for themselves. By the time I went to get my own cloths, they were not there, but I left with enough suit coats. 

It was living in a institutional setting with black men that gave me a negative feeling.

I found that a black man will be a white man’s friend on a one on one setting, but add another black man, then the white man is no longer a friend.  Up North there seems to be more segregation in neighborhoods than down South.  Because I have struggled with jobs and money, I have found myself buying some of the same things that black people buy. 

But, for the most part, I noticed it is still a segregated life.  It is the younger groups who have just elected a black President and I hope that he does not do what most black men do when in a position of power and that is to connect of with other black men and start tearing down the what has been built already out of rebellion.

Finally, the last race that I had experience with was the Oriental:

Other than in combat in Southeast Asia, I have had some experience Viet Namese in various work settings.  It was a strange feeling to have a little Viet Namese man working along side me.  I had to set aside any feelings I had and realize that He was trying to make a living also.

Most recently, in retail I have had various customers that were Japanese, Chinese, Viet Namese, Korean and various others come into the store.  Since I has worked through a lot of my issues, it was delightful to talk to some of them.

Finally, most recently, when I had needed a place to live, about 3 years ago, I found myself asking a young Chinese man if I could rent from him.  He was Chinese, the other man was Polish, and I am Irish.   I got to enjoy the Chinese food, the fact that he is bright in computers and computer games.  But I noticed he seemed to be reserved.

So I feel that when I started my course in Intercultural Communication during my Bachelor’s degree it was just a small piece of all the reality of Inter-culture that exists in the world around me.  This is just a small history of my Racial Relation.

  As I wrote an email to my high school classmates as to why I am voting for McCain, one of the reasons I listed was that He was a Veteran.  One of the things she replied to me was that she felt Smarts is more important than being a Veteran, which qualified Barack Obama as He had served as President of the Harvard Review, while attending Law School. 

  I am a veteran. I have served in the United States Navy.  I also attended the United States Naval Academy from 3 weeks after graduating high school until about March of 1963.  I would have been in the class of 1966 had I graduated from the US Naval Academy.  But, even attending the short time that I did, I have an appreciation for anyone who can graduate.  I could not.

John McCain could graduate, even if was 5th from the bottom.  I graduated from Benjamin Franklin High School  in  New Orleans, La, which took all the bright kids with IQ's of 120 and above and prepared them for college.  I graduated almost at the same position in High School as John McCain did The Naval Academy, yet I was able to attend the United States Academy.

When I left the United States Naval Academy, I incurred a 6 year obligation to the United States Government and was immediately on inactive duty in the United States Navy Reserve.

I came home to New Orleans and began to  attend Tulane University, party and attempted to join a Naval Reserve Unit at Naval Air Station at Bellechase, La.  I immediately began to blow off going to my monthly meetings found drinking and partying to be more important than my commitment.  Alcoholism at taken affect.

I struggled through dropping out of school, working, and then trying to go back to school taking part time courses.  Before it was over I found myself having had mine own apartment, then moved back to my mothers and trying to go back to school.  It was at that point that that I received orders from the US Navy to report for a physical and if found physically qualified, I would be sent to Charleston, SC. 

Someone  told me about the Training and Administration of Reserves and I that could stay in New Orleans for another year.  So I volunteered for 3 years for the TAR program at Naval Air New Orleans. 

We used to be flown to little operations like take down a base during the day and then get flown back to base in the evening. 

That's where things get really fuzzy in my life: I was doing a lot of drinking.  Later, I kept hearing about Viet Nam and decided to Volunteer for duty and sign for 6 more years and got a bonus.  I had actually signed up in July.

I remember someone telling me I needed me this person who was a veteran of the Israeli war.  I was running around in the French Quarter in New Orleans.  A buddy of mine and I wound up going into a coffee house and there were Anti-Viet Nam War things happening.  First, the films were national news, then international news, then the grainy black and white was shown as to what was happening over there.

The Cubans stood up saying we needed fight the Communists.  All I cared about was to go get another beer because this place did not serve beer.  So my buddy and I left. 

When I got back to the base, I was interrogated by the NSA as I had a Secret Clearance for my Radioman's position.  I told them  all that I had seen and was told that I could go to work for them.  I think that is why I decided to volunteer for duty over there but not sure.  My records do not indicate me going.  But, when I stopped drinking, the memories started flooding out and the PTSD has been there.  I jump when I hear gunfire or loud reports, helicopters are a welcoming sound from miles off, I have enveloped peripheral vision and prefer to sit at the back of a room to I can see everything, I am uneasy with anyone sitting behind me, I have had typical PTSD behavior.  When I  finally, began recovery from alcoholism,  I began to have memories and flashbacks.

So my question is finally, what's more important?  Smarts or being a Veteran?  Was it those who were Smart who created a secret within my mind and now I am a veteran who is Smart?